Battling Perfectionism

I used to replay my day before falling to sleep. Every comment said, by myself and others. Every mistake made, actual and assumed and I would choose this self-punishment over rest. I would get up the next day, tired, defeated, frustrated and determined to get it right.

I had some good days. Days where everything went right. Silent pats on my back for a job well done, crises averted by my careful words and expert planning. This perfectionist attitude was taking over my mind.

The small fox destroys the vine. Let me tell you, those small foxes are tricky. They seem small, insignificant, and harmless but they are extremely damaging and life-threatening.

Small foxes can destroy dreams, destroyed dreams cannot manifest into destiny. So here are things I do to battle the perfectionist mindset.

1. Tell on myself- My husband is confident, funny, and honest. I trust him. So wither I say something that comes off too flirty or too cold I can tell him. He usually responds by teasing me and making me laugh. Sometimes I have to go back and apologize to a person I may have offended, but it helps to have someone I can be honest about myself with. I have learned that my greatest gift can also get me into trouble and that is my way with words. I have to totally rely on God to keep me in check.

2. Journal- If I don’t want to talk about how I am feeling I can write it down. I don’t write my mistakes and shortcomings. Instead, I change to focus and journal about a scripture or the things I am thankful for. (Philippians 4:8)

3. Say no- Jesus needed rest. Its okay to say no simply to take a breath. Sometimes we need to stop to clearly hear from God. (Mark 6:31)

4. Take the risk – If my only concern in failure I must take the risk. In the parable of the talents, a master was leaving his home to travel. He gave talents to each of three servants according to their abilities. One man invested and doubled his money, another also was able to double what he was given. The third man hid his talent. He made no profit so it was taken away. (Matthew 25:14-30). It was the man who was too afraid to act who was punished. Inaction is worse than failure.

5. Recognize and Appreciate the Seasons – Everything has seasons. There are some seasons in which I am able to accomplish so many things at once. It is as if times stands still for me. Then there are times where there are not enough hours in the day to complete even the smallest tasks. I have learned to roll with it. When things are running smoothly I seize the opportunity and when it is time to rest I try to do that too. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

I hope these tips help you on the journey of self-care. Life can get hard so we must be our advocates for health and mental wellness.

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12 thoughts on “Battling Perfectionism

  1. I used to lay in bed late at night and replay all the ways my kid had been β€œunsafe”… my mother in law told me to stop that. That it was going to drive my entire little family crazy… she was right!

  2. I agree with all of your points here. Nobody’s perfect and it can be extremely harmful to strive for impossible standards!

  3. I used to drive myself crazy with the β€œwhat if I had instead.” It takes time to accept that sometimes things happen just the way they should. Recognizing everything doesn’t have to be perfect is a huge step in taking care of self. I’m finally ok with being imperfect!

  4. These are really great tips. I do this from time to time and it really disturbs me. I will have to try these tips out.

  5. It would be great to be able to turn off your brain for juuuuust a little bit, haha. I definitely replay events of my life on an endless loop – even things from when I was a little kid. It takes conscious effort to stop doing it, but it gets easier with more practice. Thanks for sharing your suggestions!

  6. This is amazing … I’ve suffered a long time and the journey is never easy but self care is necessary.

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